Great post Jeni! So much resonated with me. I had 21 months at one point and threw it away because I felt I was denying myself something. I suffered major loss too and rationalized that I could not lose drinking too. I think the mindset you mention of not shutting the door completely on drinking certainly plays a role. I'm still struggling with never being able to have that temporary escape going forward but I'm determined.
I wish you all the best and know that we can do this!!
Stay strong
