Hi, have you ever tried antabuse? I find it a great help because it stops me drinking even when I want to. It takes away the mental battle because I know I can't drink so I don't engage with the evil whispers in my head. Also, Campral is meant to be a very successful drug for alcoholism. I will be getting some soon but I have read rave reviews from fellow alkies who swear by it.
I think these things could give you the added protection against this highly challenging affliction. I feel bad that you are suffering so much now.
I know you desperately want to be sober. Everyone here can see that from your posts. You haven't been falling from lack of trying.
Godspeed and God is with you. Always.