Don't ever, ever give up, Mrrryah. I have faith and confidence in you.
You mentioned that you have so many safeguards in place that you return immediately to restart your efforts for sobriety. That's wonderful.
Have you identified the source of your most recent relapse and put a safeguard in place to block the type of situation or thought process in the future?
As always, rooting for you, Mrrryah.