Hi and welcome!!! I'm glad you're here, because you will find people who understand here.
He's been hiding this massive part of himself from me the whole time, and for me, he's not the person I thought he was. I tried to explain this to him and he has not taken it well - I'm not sure he wants to talk or see me ever again.
Hiding something that major for six months is pretty big stuff. At least I would feel like it was. I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years, and our relationship started with him hiding both his alcoholism and his mental illness until after we had gotten married and I was pregnant. So when I read your story, I think "I don't know if I could trust a person like that" -- of course, that's also partly because of my own experiences with a person lying early on in a relationship.
I think your reaction to his lies is very healthy. It says to me that you are looking for a relationship built on honesty and trust -- which is what all of us ideally want, right?
When I realized my husband was an alcoholic, I didn't really know much about alcoholism. It helped me a lot -- and it might help you -- to learn about alcoholism, and what you can expect if you choose a life together with an alcoholic.
It sounds to me like you'd like to run, but that you somehow feel responsible for making sure he's OK... Remember, he was an alcoholic and got through recovery before he met you; he doesn't NEED you to get through rehab this time. You have no obligations to him -- but you do have an obligation to yourself: To listen to the red flags and not put yourself in a position you don't want to be in.
