Confused and sad
Hi all,
It's my first post on here so please be gentle!
I'm writing because I don't really have anyone else to turn to - no-one who would understand anyway. I don't really understand myself.
I've been dating a wonderful man for 6 months - and thought everything was going really well. We were up to the point of meeting each others' families, planning holidays, spending more time together, etc. However, it all changed after New Year.
I went away with friends on a pre-planned trip over the break and returned last week to strange behaviour on his part. He said he had 'something to tell me' when I got back. I assumed the worst (seeing someone else, wants to break-up, etc).
Now I'm no idiot - I knew he drank pretty much every time I saw him, we drank together on weekends and he had told me that he used to party really hard in his early twenties (drink, drugs, anything really) but that he was "over all that now". So I thought nothing of it.
Two days ago he admitted that he's an alcoholic - that a year before we met he had been in a rehab centre for 7 months to get clean (a pretty long stretch?) and had been to AA meetings before he thought he didn't need them anymore. A few months before we met he started drinking again, but only a bit - he thought he could handle it. Turns out he's been drinking every single day since we've been dating, consuming large amounts of spirits in the morning, during work (!!) and before bed to help him get to sleep. Whilst I was away he went back to the rehab centre because he couldn't take it anymore. He's been sober a week now.
I'm devastated. He's been hiding this massive part of himself from me the whole time, and for me, he's not the person I thought he was. I tried to explain this to him and he has not taken it well - I'm not sure he wants to talk or see me ever again.
What do I do? I still love him and want to make sure he's ok while he makes his recovery, but I don't think things will be the same. I didn't sign up to a relationship with an RA. Help!