TG, I am sorry that you have so much anger. I did too, and I still do, but it doesn't control my life anymore. I am a Catholic but I was pretty angry at God for letting him do this to me. As I felt I was a good person. I do understand the Alanon way. If my sponsor said to me to pray on it or I will pray for you, one more time I was going to scream. It is really hard to let go and let someone else controls things. As that is what I have had to do for a very long time.
I have a quote below that I read somewhere and I want to share it with you.
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be, at this moment.
This has nothing to do with God, but a lot to do with acceptance. Maybe once you stop fighting facts of your life you can make peace with in yourself.
(((((((((hugs))))))))))