lillamy

Two things: I think it's very, very easy for us who have been around for a while to forget what we felt like when we first walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. I remember feeling like people there acted like what you were supposed to do was self-evident -- and remember feeling like it bloody wasn't, not for me.

I bought a lot of Al-Anon literature and was able to consume it at my own pace, and that helped me sort of get closer to what they, the old-timers were saying, and understanding where they were coming from.

Two: I have had times when I just wanted to be DONE. When the feelings were too much, when the work was too hard, and he I just wanted someone to FIX ME NOW. And during those periods, I was totally unreachable for help. I wanted someone to fix me, but anyone trying got their damn head bitten off. I wanted help but not THAT kind of help (whatever kind it was I was offered).

I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but I'm telling you, I was so desperate to get better that I pushed away the very people trying to help me simply because... I never felt that what they offered was enough. Kind of like a starving person pushing away a piece of bread because it wasn't an entire meal.

I don't know if any of that makes sense to you, but I just wanted to share it.