I’ve been in al-anon a long time and I’ve yet to come across anything that demands that I let go or forgive them this instant.
The opening at our meetings always begins with – you are here because of alcoholism and not for the alcoholic.
Al-anon is to focus on you whether you stay with an alcoholic or not. The program is for you, it’s up to you how to apply it.
I’ve found that in al-anon or therapy or counseling if I chose to try and control someone else I remain angry and frustrated. When life is not going my way or how I want it to I become angry and frustrated.
When I “focus entirely on me” and “let go” of trying to control another or outcome of something I have no control over I find peace.