I'm sorry you are going through this. It is really hard when you are stopped and your partner is not. Focus on you and walk away from your wife when she is drinking. Really, really focus on yourself. My husband recently relapsed. Still out there. It's really played a number on me and made it so hard. I started reaching out more for support. I've been practicing gratitude that I haven't started drinking in response.
I do read the threads on the family and friends thread here on SR. It's helpful and comforting to realize we aren't alone.