I met my exABF years ago when I was just a kid - our families were friends. He was older than me and got married very young (17) because his girlfriend was pregnant. I used to babysit for his kids when I was in high school. I always had a crush on him but I was a very innocent teenager and he was married so I would have never acted on the crush. I think what I liked about him was that he was so different than me - he drank, did drugs, etc. I was not into that scene at all and I think I found it intriguing. Well he and his first wife divorced and soon after that he moved away with what would be his second wife. Ten years later he moved back into the area and we worked together at the same part time job. He was in a relationship and I was still married although I was seperated at the time. His girlfriend left him and he was alone at about the same time my estranged husband decided he was moving back into our house because his name is on the deed and I can't keep him out. So I ended up moving in with my exABF - just friends - nothing going on at that time. I was drawn to him because I thought he was just such a great guy - he allowed me and my child to live in his house, he poured out his heart to me about how hurt he had been in the past, he shared his hopes for the future, etc. etc. etc. Looking back on it now I don't know if all that was just a bunch of lies to manipulate me or if he really meant those things but as the drinking and drugs got worse he changed. I guess I'll never really know. I think the thing that kept me there so long was my need to "rescue" him. If only he could see how much I love him he would magically change and be the man he told me he really wanted to be. Well I woke up from that dream, he's not the man he said he was and I don't see any signs that he ever will be. It's sad because I think I do still love him but I have moved on for the sake of my own sanity and the safety of my child.