Had a follow up conversation with our son today. He said, "I was expecting this like a year ago. I kept wondering...when's mom going to do something about this. I love dad, mom, I do, but...." and he went on to talk a bit about his dad and their relationship; the good, bad, etc.
He's such a great kid and is really trying to be understanding and supportive and he even said, "hey this is between you guys even though I have to feel the consequences too."
So very blessed to have him in my life. I'll be working hard now to stay on my side of the street and to keep our son out of the problems that come from divorcing an alcoholic. Lots of things up in the air but I already have my realtor friend looking for rentals for me.