Originally Posted by EndGameNYC

I no longer abstain because of the predictable or inevitable consequences -- although that certainly has its place, if only because I live in dread that I'll live a life, my life, that will go unlived. I don't drink because I no longer want to drink; I want to be present for all that I do, for all that happens, and for whatever meaning is available to me. The more I act, the more I become who I am. These may seem like vague or "woolly" abstractions, and may only have meaning for me within the context of my own choices, my own life, but learning to live with and at times embrace ambiguity has its own rewards, while living with the certainty and the twisted security of an inevitable inner death only leaves me hungry to remain there.