JD - sobriety can provide clarity and open doors / opportunities unimagened. I learned from others that self pity is simply pride in reverse. I am sure you're going through a difficult time and please don't take it the wrong way. Not meaning it to sound harsh - but frankly when I began to understand this a light went on.
Proud of you for helping others - that huge!
I started taking classes - I'm no spring chicken either. But, nothing is going to stop me fr living a full life as long as I am able.
You have a home, a job and I am sure many other things to be grateful for
Glad you're posting friend - missed ya !
FlyN