Welcome Leeharris
I understand your fear. I was scared too - on the one hand, of not drinking again, and on the other, of continuing to drink !
We are here to support you, you can try AA, and there are other recovery programmes too.
Just don't drink today.
Once you've been sober for a while, you might find that your outlook changes and the thought of sobriety will be comforting rather than a burden.
Glad you found us .