For me, like for others here, this starts with taking care of myself all around: physically, emotionally, spiritually. I normally have a relatively good sense of this (not superb though in comparison with many other people), but when I drink, it all goes out of the window... so this has been an area for me to work on intensely in sobriety. Still kinda up and down, but I've made progress. So this is more or less about identifying and "fixing" the things that need practical attention.
Next level is being able to see where there is no need to change or fix things, either because it's not realistically possible, or because actually trying to forcefully fix some of these things could cause more damage than good. So this is about self-acceptance. Has never been easy for me because I tend to have an obsession about problem solving.
Now thinking of all this, the Serenity Prayer came to mind. Interesting, because I never associated these things before consciously, but I think it's a valid association, and one can say what I described above may form the realistic basis for any sort of "higher order" investigation and fulfillment spiritually and in the domains of self-actualization for me. I'm not one of those people who would survive well and especially flourish being a monk, for example, and this took me years to realize. One of my biggest problems up to this year of sobriety had been that I tried to target all this upside down: wanting to shoot for those "higher" needs as that seems more interesting to my mind, being the kind of person I am. But without the appropriate basis, Maslow's Pyramid of the Needs is nothing but a house of cards, for me at least. I just cannot live purely on intellectual and spiritual food, very minimalistically -- when I try, it makes everything a lot worse. This has been one of my profoundest lessons in my life so far, and I believe it's not true for everyone but I cannot deny it for me at this point. Accordingly, self love these days for me focuses on taking care of my more basic needs, the ones I most tend to neglect when in a bad place, and tend to substitute in all the wrong ways (with alcohol etc).