Thank you for your suggestions.
Steve, I would like to share my story of that day - as it continues to confuse and trouble me. I remember feeling terrible when I woke up on Day 10 of my sobriety. I had taken to drinking several cups of coffee daily since I had decided to stop drinking, but had not really thought about the toll that much caffeine would have on my system. Drinking coffee had become a sort of "safe alternative" to drinking alcohol. So on Day 10, after waking up and feeling hungover, dehydrated, and anxious (a familiar theme of my former drinking schedule) and without being able to identify a satisfactory way to improve how I felt, I choose to address my difficulties the same way I had learned before - pick up some alcohol and drink until I feel better. I remember feeling numbly aware that this was a terrible decision, that I had already identified countless reasons why I should stop drinking completely. But the foundation of my previous conviction to stop drinking had dissolved into this hazy idea which could hardly influence my present decision to get drunk. I remember feeling detached from my environment as I walked to the corner store. I kept thinking "I can turn away right now" even as I handed my cash to the clerk. My mind seemed to have short-circuited. I continued drinking for two days after that. So, long story short, I drank too much coffee, woke up dehydrated and miserable, eventually figured that the best way to feel better would be to drink, acted out on this terribly insane notion, then realized just how much I had jeopardized in making this decision. It's hard to believe that could have made such a terrible choice.