New...need I say more..
This is the one of the saddest days of my life, I heard yesterday from my doctor that I was an alcoholic...me...and he made me say the words and admit it and really own my life...and now what it is...I cannot drink, and to me that is the scariest part...is that sick or what...I want to be able to drink when I want to but I do not want to be weak or owned by anything....maybe what I am saying will mean something to someone else...may I add that as I write this I am having a glass of wine, I want to stop drinking and I want to write the reason down...I have a toddler that I love more than anything/one in the world and what kind of mom am I if she is always seeing me with a wine glass in my hand after work??That is ugly...it is wrong and it hurts me to be that kind of mom. I am a professional woman, I am attractive...I have things going for me...I work hard and I am a very good mom...but really I am the emptiest person in the world...and I do not kmow what to do with that feeling...so I try not to have any feelings at all...mind you I am not drunk all the time...in fact, I think that very few people think that I have a problem...I say I think because who am I fooling??? I have lost friends and done stupid ugly things while drinking, so that is my story...just the beginning, but enough.