zoso77

Aurora...

For months, I've been watching you give yourself permission to allow him to be in your outer orbit. And you're giving yourself permission to do this in spite of overwhelming evidence that he is bad news.

I believe that intellectually, you understand this, and that's because you've spent enough time here to know who and what you're dealing with. And yet, that knowledge has not translated into what I consider healthy choices. So allow me to be blunt on this New Years Day.

At this moment, the biggest impediment towards your own recovery is you. Not him, not what he says or does. You.

I am of the opinion that having contact with his family is insanity. There is nothing to be gained by continuing contact with them, but everything to lose. All this tells me is you don't want to let go of him.

Well, fine. Don't let go of him. Continue to allow yourself to be tortured by someone who, in all probability, will never find lasting, sustained recovery. Plus, from everything you've said, he's an a-hole to boot. Why you desire to have an a-hole in your life perplexes me.

Did it ever occur to you that he behaves this way towards you because he knows you don't have any self respect? He knows he can do or say anything, and you'll allow him to be in his life in some fashion.

For once, Aurora, put your best interests first. Not what you want. Your best interests. And that means putting him behind you once and for all, and ending all contact with his family. Anything else delays your healing process.