Nero....do I hear some ambivalence? You say that your heart is already gone--that y ou don't have any more to give-that y ou are pursuing a divorce after the holidays.
On the other hand, you imply that you are willing (maybe) to "throw another year on the pile while hoping for the best".
That sounds like a double message to me. If I can pick up the ambivalence---don't you think she can, also?
All I am saying is...if you are making a boundary..make sure that it is one that you can and will be able to enforce. No wobbling---she will smell it in the air.
dandylion