Briar,
can you give yourself a break?
sorry the dream felt awful , but could you reframe and look at it like you did in your dream what you did in real life and that is to go with your best self in two tough situations?
that there are feelings of being ostracized, left out, loss...yes, most of us have had those. it's okay. you're okay. you don't HAVE to see last night and the dream as awful things.
how close you came is scary.
but you changed direction.
both in reality AND in your dream.
there is positive here. lots of it.
one of your choices is to see that.
and then choose to shore that up.