Lies we tell to stay true to ourselves
Several years ago I worked with a young woman who was a big drinker like the rest of the staff. One day she told us that she had tested positive for tuberculosis and would undergo a six-month regimen of medication to kill the virus. She explained that she could not drink during this treatment as her liver would be compromised. We consoled her and promised to have a wild party when her treatment ended. She still went out with us, but she drank Coke, and no one said anything. By the time the six months were up, she had left to attend medical school in another state. We never had the party.
It never dawned on me until this morning that she may have been lying. It’s brilliant really, if that’s what she did. I admire that kind of resourcefulness. But it’s unfortunate if she felt she had to resort to an elaborate lie for six months to protect her sobriety. In recovery circles there is much talk of honesty and being true to oneself, so is it some kind of failure to lie for your sobriety? Or is being true to ourselves different from being honest with others?