Wow, thanks for all the support (in real time!). I just took my son to the park to play with some of his toys he got from Christmas. His eyes just lit up when I asked him to play. I think we could have just out back and thrown rocks and he would have been just as happy. One step at a time. I truly love my son, I must find a way out of this pit I'm stuck in. I'm so riddled with anxiety my body is always tense. Playing just now felt good