Briar

After my drama last night, I had an awful dream. I dreamed that I went to a work social at my company’s bar. It wasn’t my real work, but my husband works in the wine industry where it is normal for company buildings to host bars, so that’s probably where I got it. In the dream, I came in with friend. The bar was busy and very loud. Right away the bartender called to me. He asked me about where to buy a particular bottle of vodka in a particular size. He knew I would know, and I did, so I told him. Then I sat down at a small table with my friend. Immediately the waiter arrived. As my friend gave him her order, I thought about slipping away to the bathroom to hide, but then she beat me to it, leaving me alone with the waiter. He looked at me, and I fumbled with my words for a moment then looked at him earnestly and said “I’m not drinking.” He hung his head mournfully and walked away. Then I realized the entire bar had gone silent. People were staring at each other comfortably as if paused in conversation, but no one was talking. I started to cry and ran out. I woke up feeling ostracized and completely alone. I guess that pretty much sums up how I feel generally right now.