My 38 cents coming from "the other side." Nothing particularly insightful to add but yes, your anger is quite justifiable. You picked up the pieces, dealt with the crap while he was drinking, and likely nobody fully saw what you were going through to its fullest extent. Likely you were too busy dealing with handling things to deal with your own stuff. I'll never forget time after time while going through an outpatient program hearing other A's ask staff "how long will it take friends and family to forgive me?" The ballpark answer (which I have no idea whether it was based on any truth) was- take the number of years you were drinking and it will take at LEAST that many years of you being sober for forgiveness. Now that said if nothing else I felt like that was a decent window into the fact that friends and family are good and angry and it'll take a LONG time for you to process and deal with your side which you are quite justified in feeling.
Peace,
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