Hi there...
I remember that resentment. When mine went to a 90 day program I was left at home with the "real world". When things were really hitting the fan I wished i could be an addict so I could go contemplate my navel somewhere. My unmanageability peaked when I wondered what petty crime I could commit just to go to jail for a few days for peace and to be able to sit and read a book. Heck yeah I resented her.
Flash forward a few years and she's left yet again, not to rehab but left our relationship to "find herself" or "focus on her program" or whatever she told me, I can't recall. Sometimes I do feel resentful b/c she gets to go off and have her life and meanwhile I am back to being a single parent with all the responsibilities. Today I know that I can take care of myself and my needs, but not at the expense of my child. To do otherwise is bad parenting and I choose not to parent like that. Sometimes that anger creeps up that she has a lot more free time than I do, but I flip it around to the fact that I have a great kid and she is missing out on 99% of his life. All because she can't balance/prioritize her needs with someone else's. That's her choice, but I choose differently. Just because it is not how I'd like it to be, doesn't change reality.
I have realized though that resentments hurt me far worse than anyone else. In fact, my ex is so far up her own butt these days, it wouldn't occur to her how I might be feeling. And what little gets through she is so defensive about she can't take responsibility for anyway. So I can choose to continue my self-harming resentments, or change my perspective and drop expectations of incapable people.
When my ex went to rehab she too wanted to tell me not to talk to so-and-so (I thought she felt insecure b/c so-and-so had a crush on me). It probably had more to do with her secrets b/c she and so-and-so got high a lot more often together than I ever knew and so-and-so sold her pills on several occasions. After I found all that out I didn't want to talk to so-and-so anymore as my own decision. Anyway, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do. Just like I don't have the right to tell my qualifiers what to do either. They can request, but in the end I need to do what works for me. It doesn't sound like the isolation caused by his "requests" are helping your recovery.
To this day I still go to 3 meetings (at least) a week and recently added therapy. This is so I can learn to focus on ME rather than the shortcomings of others.