You're not alone, I thought I was strong enough to stay in my Mums for Christmas(where she and my sister drink heavily). Turns out my addiction is much stronger than I thought and I've come home v early to dry out-big lesson learnt and you know what-now I realise how big my problem is I feel much more hopeful for my future. At least I know what I'm dealing with now, all denial has gone. It's up to you how much you want to live. I WILL NOT let this be who I am! Don't let yourself be a drunk (no offence).