Hi Jeremy. I too, hope that 2015 will bring some substantial changes to you.
Originally Posted by
Thatdeliveryguy 
With that, I go forward searching for both religious and nonreligious answers. If I really knew what to believe, I am supposing my alcoholism and chronic addiction would be solved or I would have some path.
Maybe the other way around? If you solved your addiction and other problems without thinking much why, you would be able to seek/find answers to those other questions far more efficiently, with a clearer mind and heart? I like Tomsteve's anecdote here. Hop on that truck, boat, or helicopter and then you will be able to investigate the theoretical questions you are interested in with less resentments and desperation clouding the process.
I've been interested in exploring all sorts of complex problems about life as long as I remember... but oh my did it become skewed when I was drinking heavily! Of course I could not truly see how skewed it was until I got some sober time under my belt and committed to accept turning my focus on good old reality instead of my booze-soaked fantasy world.
You only need to make a relatively simple step to start this process. Grab that rope, Jeremy!