T- I hate to make this comment, but if she is working the 12 steps of AA then she shouldn't be acting this way. In her 8 years of recovery, as she ever made amends to you for what she put you through? I really find it hard to believe from what you are saying that she is totally committed to working the AA 12 steps program.
Not sure why she is so angry with you, but it sounds like another situation of an A and a codependent. Have you ever read co-dependent no more??
Welcome to my world....
All I would say is keep working your alanon program. Sounds like she doesnt like when she doesnt get a reaction when she is "mean". That is taking care of your side of the street, you are working the program. If you keep minding your own business and strengthening who you are, you will be able to do what you feel necessary regarding your marriage. You get healthy, she stays right were she is.
Treat her behavior like she is drinking and hit some open AA meetings and keep reading and posting on SR.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))