Hawkeye,
I knew you would say this...lol. I am trying to learn. It is too hard to really explain a full picture of my personal experience on a discussion board, so I learn a lot from what others have to say on certain questions that I post. It's not all so black and white. Sometimes I need to know these things and I can't explain why. My healing and understanding might be gradual, but I'm heading in the right direction. Part of my healing is to get a clear understanding in my mind until it clicks. I imagine that is the same for many people here; our experiences are unique; and yet similar. I'm getting there. Sorry if I ask too many questions. Don't mean to repeat myself, but I do like to hear what others have to say on the subject, even if I revisit it, as there are always new people with potentially more commonality to relate to.