carmen, we have had this question from you before as I recall.
Bottom line is your alcoholic may also have personality issues which are problematic but not necessarily related to alcoholism.
He's been an alcoholic so long neither one of you can really know this,
but until he quits totally for quite a long interval, you won't be able to tell.
It sounds to me like you are trying to get some answers you want by asking the same question again.
Look at what we said when you asked these type of questions over and over in the past.
I don't mean this critically, but with compassion. You keep beating your poor head against the same wall
hoping for different outcome. It doesn't look like, observing his actions, you are going to get it.
Please be honest with yourself about why you keep trying to analyze someone who seems to be incapable of having a solid and positive relationship with another person--
It doesn't matter why or where the source of the problem is if he can't treat you with respect and empathy right now.
He isn't sober, he hasn't said he is going to get sober, and you are still not hearing him.
The "whys" of his bad behavior really aren't your problem unless you keep making it so.