Sweetie, you sound as addicted to him as he is to the alcohol - by addiction, meaning something that you know is very bad for you, but you still find justifications/reasons/excuses for doing it.
If alcoholics want to recover, generally abstinence plus emotional/spiritual support seems to work. In your case, abstinence = no contact. Sometimes if we walk away from a destructive relationship we'll get withdrawal symptoms which are as distressing as withdrawal from a drug; but if you want to recover, detaching from him is as important for you as rehab is for him.
It can be the most agonising thing to do, and maybe it's a step you're not ready to take - but rest assured that if you need emotional support when you let go of him and start taking care of YOU, there'll be plenty of support on here.
(((HUGS)))