I think it's a simoplification to say that getting sober makes you happy - but many people hear just that and they think they must be doing something wrong...
getting sober did not make me happy - but it gave me a level platform to work from, to work out what I was unhappy and exactly what I could do about that.
There was an end to my unhappiness in recovery - took me a year or so tho working through all my issues. (pretty good compared to the decades I was unhappy for)
I was *very unhappy* but there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Drinking, I was even more unhappy - and no light, anywhere. at all.
Get rid of that 'probably' Briar - I can guarantee you drinking again will offer you nothing but more misery, more self hatred and more insecurity and fear.
Energy spent on being mad or afraid or sad over our life is wasted energy.
Start working out what issues you have and how you can resolve them - if it takes therapy, a lifestyle change, thought changes, or even medication...canvass all your options.
D