Im having a really hard time in AA
I like AA. I see that it works. I wanted it to work for me. I have been literally sitting on step one now for 85 days because I was told to get a sponsor before moving on. I did. She avoids me like the plague. I have now asked 8 other women from different meetings and all have said no, then avoid me like the plague. I feel lonely in sobriety. I feel like there is something so wrong with me no one wants to deal with it. I'm tired of step one. I know I'm a damn alcoholic and that is why this is scaring me. I'm dealing with stuff I have blocked out for 25 years and I need the remaining steps to figure this out and start living. Can I do these steps alone? I am seriously about to use this big book as a beer coaster. This isn't worth it anymore. It's aggravating, frustrating and now I'm sad.
Jennifer