Please talk me off the ledge :(
My friend sent me a text yesterday night to tell me she saw my ex getting food at the same place she was at and that he looked awful and miserable. I responded to her by saying that while it makes me feel bad for him, he made his choice and it's easier for me not to hear anything about him and to please refrain from sending me messages about him. She apologized, but I so didn't need to hear that.
Then, I received this from him today:
"I want you to know that I saw my doctor on Friday and I was prescribed an antidepressant to help me get over you and what we had and I'm also going to be going to a therapist and possibly getting medicine to hopefully curb my urges. I'm sorry it didn't happen when we were together but I thank you for the support you once gave me."
I didn't respond, but God does it hurt. Instantly I felt so bad for him, but also angry. I BEGGED and PLEADED for him to seek help for 2 years. 2 DARN YEARS so that we wouldn't have to break up. Now? Now you're going to seek help? And send me a letter to let me know this (text blocked)?? Why bother telling me all of this now?? Part of my heart is breaking for him and another part of it is so angry. I feel like he's torturing me, whether he means to or not. I had a great weekend with my cousins celebrating the pre-holidays and although I'm still ok, I'm fighting with all I have not to respond to him because it makes me sad and I so badly want to help him and have him know that I support him getting help, but.... is it even believable? He's lied to me sooooo many times. So, so, so many. He'd always say he knew he needed help and he'd get it when things got rough between us. He also told me once that he'd never stop drinking. It's such a confusing mess to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. Do they realize how badly they hurt the people that care about them? Do they care? Jeez.
I feel like the cruelest person on earth for not reaching out to him, but I can't. It hasn't done a thing for him to have me by his side supporting him for as long as I did. I also feel cruel for moving on with my life without him -- this didn't just happen out of the blue, it happened because I reached my bottom with our relationship and just couldn't take the pain of it all anymore.
Sadly, I don't think he's anywhere near getting help. I don't know what he's doing or saying this for, but I can't believe him. He's so emotionally cut off when he wants to be, so I never thought I'd hear anything like this from him, it certainly took me a bit by surprise. It was easier to think he just didn't care and was doing fine, enjoying the life of drinking that seemed all important to him.
Please talk me off the ledge - do I say nothing? Do I tell him that I wish him the best? I do, but I don't trust myself yet to see or talk to him.