Thank you both for your replies.
I know that this is some form of emotional abuse but I can tell you honestly that I wonder if I'm doing the same to him.
I wanted him to change in order for us to be together I wanted him to stop drinking.
He did and although I know he didn't do that for me he did it for himself a part of me wonders deep down if I thought that I had something to do with it.
Like my caring for him and taking care of him was just another form of control or abuse.
My thoughts are in complete chaos right now and I just have to keep repeating to myself that I don't have any control over this.
I don't.