1. Wake up at 3am in a panic, heart racing and sweaty, saying WTF? in my head
2. Drink down a cup of coffee, stumble to the "shower of doom". The shower may require a a xanax to prevent a full on panic attack
3. Get out of shower - put make-up on. Drawing my eyeliner on correctly is challenge because I'm trembling inside. Hands do not feel stable.
4. Eat breakfast.
5. Massive cramping and diareaha (sorry for the TMI!!)
6. Pop another xanax
7. Hop in car and brave the brutal silicon valley traffic - swearing at people, on edge, a big FU to the world on my face.
7. Start work, maybe pop another xanax at 10am because work is getting intense.
8. Off to the bathroom to deal with more cramping and D issues
9. Lunch - contemplating taking a swig from my little bottle in the car
10. Workout w/trainer
11. Hop in car and brave the brutal silicon valley traffic - swearing at people, on edge, a big FU to the world on my face. Maybe crack a little wine bottle open while sitting traffic. Yes bad, but I've actually seen worse on the highway.
12. Home - Treadmill for 1 hour (to burn off excess alcohol calories). then dinner
13. Open bottle of wine and GULP the first glass. I could not get that first glass down fast enough. Then continue to drink to oblivion.
14. Rise, lather, repeat
NEVER want to go back to this hell EVER.