I felt fear, at first, then respect. I think I needed to go through the fear to learn the respect of my poison. It WILL try to kill me, given a chance.
I also believe that we go through a period of grief for our chosen substance. Anger, and fear are but a few of the feelings we grow through. Working through those feelings helped me stay in recovery, and I wish the same for you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy