Ashamed :-(
Wednesday night I had a drink :-( was doing so well almost 3 weeks! I have a family member who is just bad for me... I live a quiet life mostly, home, home cooked meals, love watching docos, bed time... work... sports on the weekends, catch up with friends, her life consists of DRAMA. people showing up at her house smashing it in (shall not go on, gets really silly) her baby daddy is basically ruining her life. shes a hermit with her new bf basically cannot have a normal functioning relationship, which if they feel they want to be that way that's fine. so Wednesday night im about to run me a hot bubble bath (my way of relaxing) and a knock on the door....... its her. and her bf. they brought over alcohol, I had about 8 drinks :-( to top off the night it was a ****** ass night anyway, just not my scene in anything I do, I enjoyed the buzz of the drink though :-( shes still at my place until sunday where she goes up north.. she has no one only where she is going on sunday she had to cut everyone out of her life due to her lifestyle. iv known her my whole life, and I do always ask her, if shes tired of all the drama? cause I just stay well away... i feeling a wave of emotions, heart broken i failed myself after being so positive and just want my normal life back. sunday cannot come any sooner.......... i need to start all over again and after this i am making a decision to cut her off. i have too.