Tough spot. I think a lot of us have been there - I remember scrounging out change from my couch cushions to buy vodka back near the end of my drinking days.
I bet it's really hard for you to see a way out: and I don't blame you. The reason many sober alcoholics guard their sobriety so fiercely is because they went through some tough times to get better. Asking for help is a hard thing to do - you've made the first step by posting here. The next step might be asking a doctor (I know they cost $$$) or even a local AA group for advice. It's really hard to see, but if you can somehow stay sober tomorrow, you'll be one step closer to getting out of this hell hole. Ask yourself: how can you make that happen?