Sounds a lot like my bottom. It was clearly a matter of life or death with me. Thankfully, I had a sponsor in AA to remind me when I started feeling a lot better that my feeling better didn't change the fact that it was life or death. It's hard to remember, or even imagine the blackness alcohol is capable of bringing when we're feeling healthy.
This is always a life or death thing to me, and while I'm not always thinking about it (or even conscious of it any more), not drinking is always my first priority.