I'm actually shocked at all the responses! Its been a long and lonely road. I know and understand that people are out there going through similar situations but I would have never thought so many would quite understand MY situation.
I'm 14 months into having the "baby blues" to add a cherry to the top of this mess. Some days I'm not sure if its post partum I'm dealing with or, or life? Lack of..
Isolated, depressed, scared, lonely, sad. Very sad. I used to have a fire in me, some sass no one could tame. Now I just feel like an empty vessel. I can honestly say if it weren't for my children I'd throw in the towel.
I went from working retail, enjoying every day..excited to go to work..(believe it or not, I truly enjoyed working retail)..for years to a job working virtually by myself..Now to no job at all.
I'm not the smartest but I do know this is all self destructive behavior.
I guess the most depressing thing, to me, is being well aware of what I'm doing yet I do nothing about it but sink further in.
And! I'm so freaking angry! Every day! At myself.
I will go pick that book up today if I'm able. I could use a good read.
Thank you all, I feel as I need a venting post right now. I'm tired of bottling it all up!