whooaaa
Got through a trigger happy day
Mum in care home attacking me about a list of things I haven't done "all you do is a bit of shopping" (ahem, a bit more than that really). Didn't drink.
Then water damaged shed has destroyed a ton of sentimental papers and objects, and I've filled a skip with sooo many things my wife and I stored (hoarded) as useful for the future. Didn't drink
Then an evening wedding reception (free bar). All my anxieties racing.
Ive been diagnosed before with body dismophic disorder: typical male , obsessive exercise coupled with bulimia. Ive fought that since i was a fat child , obviously alcohol was a another bandage over the top when you get older with less energy and children there isn't the freedom to exhaust all the anxieties at the gym or on a long run...
So tight wedding trousers, hot jacket...
But I drove so no drinking. Felt horrifically awkward. Good spirit in the room and danced like a loon eventually.
Didn't drink
I feel like I have to unravel 25 years of drinking , strip things back, to understand who I am (or was?)
And then rebuild rebuild rebuild
Anyway, that's me . thank you for listening