Why do you think you need a different forum? We love talking about jerks here.
To answer your question: I don't know that I was ever angry at my A, so I don't think I took my "anger" out on my daughter, but God knows I took everything else out on her. I was scared and anxious and I think (I know) she sensed that on a visceral level. I remember on the nights when he wouldn't come home, and I didn't know where he was, trying to parent her through tunnel-like vision with shallow breath. Hyper vigilant. It's not easy to watch The Little Mermaid in a heightened state of Fight or Flight. I'm sure my anxiety affected her. I see its affect now that she's a young adult. But we try to confront it together head on. I know she understands. It's not like she didn't live in the house with him.
Let me also add that as a teenager she has occasionally tried to play the "You're mad at dad and taking it out on me." card. Smart girl, but not as smart as her mother. I saw right through it.
