I have been looking on SR for a few months. This is my first post. Today I mailed letters of apologies. This was very hard, I am only on day three but I feel I needed to do this to be able to help make peace with myself. The shame I constantly felt made me hate myself and drink into oblivion. I have admitted to others that I abuse alcohol and am moving on. I have done what I needed to do to amend the past and can finally go forward. Wether they accept my apologies, scorn me or mock me is up to them. My part is done. I can now proudly say to myself that I have the strength to do this. I feel free.
I don't know what step this is but it is a step in the right direction.