Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
JB, you might want to check out the Secular Forum as they discuss programs that come from the belief that loved ones CAN induce change and you might get more the answers you seem to want.
I have checked out the secular forum, but I am a big advocate of AA and the 12 steps. I personally believe that we have a bit more control than Al-Anon believes, but I don't think that needs to take me away from the entire program or philosophy.
Just as I believe I have a bit more control over not drinking than AA suggests, but I am still part of the program. For example, I don't believe there are times I have no mental defense against the first drink and that I need the help of a higher power during those times. But I still like the Big Book and the program and still attend.