As of right now he's partly paid on the insurance and the plates. So, as of now, i'm not doing anything. I'm still dealing with all the emotions of him not living with me full time. We talk all the time and he gave me some BS about when "i'm ready"(to let him move back in). I threw it back in his court and said... it's not about me being ready... I have been ready to be a healthy family.. it's about you. He disappoints me constantly... and lies straight to my face. When he's ready to stop being an un-trustable human being. When that will happen, i'm not sure.
It also helps me that he has the vehicle because I still need him to watch the kids on Saturdays. Well, need is a strong word. It makes my life a lot easier and he comes to the house and I don't have to pay out a babysitter.
He has been trying to convince me to let him come home and that "this time he really changed". Whatever. He has been weening himself off the subs and does help and show up. However, I know he's not really changing. He's managing his usage and his addiction and his lies and all of his mental games. As soon as I let him back in... he will feel some sort of victory. As stupid as that sounds. As of now, his goals is to really change and stop doing drugs without using or going away to a program. Also, that he will prove it to me with his actions. He knows how to talk the talk.. yet, he doesn't walk the walk. I don't see him coming home to live with me and the kids for a long, long, long time... if ever.
It's not going to be a one or two month "i'll show you how good I am".. and then the minute I let him come home he will start to disappoint me and show me that he's using again. It's just so sad that he's not willing to do anything to help himself.
If he really wanted to come home and really fix things then he would go to a long-term program (that's free) and work a counseling program out with me and show me that he can be accountable and trustable.
As of now we are good friends and are working things out even with him not living there. He "understands" why he can't be there and is trying to prove to me that he is changing. So, life goes on. I'm trying to have a Merry Christmas but this time of year gets very emotional for me. I have had a lot of loss around the holidays but I don't let it ruin it for me. I just watch a bunch of drama lifetime movies and get the tears out.
Thank you all!