I thought about going to a Christmas
Parade in my hometown where the
floats would pass right in front of my
dads bar/pool hall.
The bar belonged to my grandfather
who passed away yrs ago and my dad
took over to keep it open for our small
town. It's a landmark there.
Anyway, since I got sober some 24yrs
ago, over the yrs. ive distant myself
from sibilings and parents due to my
healthier choices I decided to make for
myself in recovery.
My family is toxic to me. Sad to say but
true. Anyway, I do like parades but to
try and enjoy this one right in the mist
of my toxic family wouldn't be worth it
to my sobriety, peace of mind, my healthy,
serenity, etc.
I don't care if they are my family, being
in the mist of them drinking and carrying
on would not be fun to me. They all will
be under the influence I suspect and to
talk to someone with alcohol in their system,
affecting their thoughts, words, actions,
decisions would be totally arkward for me.
Here I am with a clear clean mind, no chemical
substances in my mind and body and try to talk
to family members under the influence of poison.
It just aint gonna fly or work with me no
matter if its family or friends. They would
be the square pegs trying to fit in the round
holes of my puzzle.
The word FAKE comes to mind, but its
really sickness of the disease of substance
abuse.