Hi QueSera,
Your story sounds similar to mine, in that I have a husband who is abstaining from alcohol but is not seeking any other support other than just abstaining. We have been married for close to 5 years, neither of us want children.
When he said he may order a drink, and you told him not a good idea, but it is your choice, I thought that response was pretty good. You have to realize that it is going to be normal for our partners to want alcohol at times because of the cravings of the disease. Wanting a drink is normal, but acting on it and having one is the bad outcome. When my husband craves a drink, I tell him that it is not a good idea because he can become belligerent and do things that scare me and threaten the life of our relationship. And then he has chosen not to have one. I used to say that it is his choice like you did, but our relationship is so vulnerable right now that I don't even say that anymore.
We have been doing pretty well the last few weeks of his sobriety from alcohol, with no belligerence or abuse. But he does smoke pot 24/7, which I have no problem with. I am sober myself, so we go to lots of movies, out to eat, run errands together, and watch a lot of tv. I can see how your husband is bored since he is not involved in recovery or AA. I guess I am lucky that my husband is a pothead, as he is content watching tv all day, and I can get my stuff done.