Hugs, Stung. I like what KeepingtheFaith had to say. I know you don't have the doc appointment until next week so for now, just breathe, and try not to think about it.
FWIW: my sister had leukemia as a child and survived it with flying colors and I know too many people who have autoimmune diseases than I can count, but they are all managing their lives and doing well by learning self care. You are already an expert at self care, take heart and know that getting a diagnosis puts you in a better position to do just that. Grab the bull by the horns and attack whatever it is that is dragging you down.
Hey, I was told I had shingles by both the RN and my doc, but the swab tests showed nothing. Doctors can be wrong.
And, this post was timely for me, as well, so I thank you. I am going in for 2 MRIs of my spine(leaving in a few minutes actually). The doctor is concerned about my spinal pain and since my dad died from a spinal tumor, he wants to make sure I get it checked out further. This has been going on since June and there's a part of me that is ready for the answers and there's another part of me that is scared sh*tless.
HUGS to you, again, today.