Hi Z. I've missed you too.
I will share my experience here. It isn't the same, no 2 stories are, but it has some parallels...
My Dad wasn't the greatest at showing he cared, I wondered whether he loved me at all as I was growing up, he was always remote and difficult. He was angry and self-absorbed..I felt I was so far down his list of priorities that I almost didn't exist at all other than to annoy him so I learned to stay out of his way. When I had my children..he was totally different with them. He showed them his softer side. Both my kids grew to love him and all his eccentricities.
Over the years as my own alcoholism grew, I realised that he had his own demons. It took many years but we did re-connect at the end. He was an alcoholic, had come from a background of cruelty and neglect and simply did not have the tools to be a good father. I understand that now.
We had a strong relationship at the end before he passed, and he was a Grandad to 7 kids who all adored him.
It's never too late Z. A new member of the family is the ideal time to reach out...that baby gives you all a new start.
Best wishes to you x